It's publication day!

all the feels

this morning! holding my book that is out now!

It’s publication day for A Year of Nothing. It’s dark outside now, and the day has somehow slipped by very quickly. I’m sitting in my office, writing to you, feeling a sense of relief. The build-up to publication day is like needing to do a very loud sneeze.

A strange feeling, really. The book exists in the world now; the work is done. It’s yours now, as much as it’s also mine.

I went for lunch with my friend Selina. When I arrived, she had a bunch of bright orange flowers on the table and a card. Female friendship is the best. At the table next to us, a group of women in their 60s were giggling like schoolgirls, gossiping about something. I loved it. After our food and countless coffees, the waiter brought us a huge free dessert, grinning at us, because we looked ‘excited about something.’ People are nice.

I had a flurry of messages from my loved ones. Voice-notes. A call with my sister. Emails: Happy Publication Day!

I realise I don’t have many loose acquaintances anymore—they all drifted away during my Year of Nothing. Instead, my circle is small but mighty: close and fierce. I’m hosting drinks for them tomorrow night. I plan to give a speech and I wonder if I’ll cry or not.

I’ve been working 24/7 throughout January in preparation for the book release, realising this is the opposite of the message contained within the pages of my book. I launched it on Tuesday night at an event in Croydon, to a room of 100 people who asked amazing questions. I was genuinely moved that so many had come out on a wet, cold Tuesday to hear me speak and get their book signed. Inside the books, I wrote this message: “Good things happen when you slow down.”

So I’m easing off now—it’s time to let the book do its thing. You don’t have to babysit your work; it will go out there on its own, traveling, moving from place to place.

I spent this afternoon replying to texts, following up on media invitations, downloading my NetGalley reports, and refreshing my analytics on IngramSpark. Cue slight overstimulation. Time to put the phone down.

Has the book ‘succeeded’? It’s so much easier to say ‘yes’ when you make the rules yourself. It has succeeded simply because it exists, and people will discover it in their own time if they want to. I don’t have a bestseller chart to hit, or a team in some big shiny building to report to. This time, I’m drawing outside the lines—not willing to jump through ready-made hoops.

I want my 2026 to be fun. I don’t want to wear a metaphorical corset—tight, reined in, and well-behaved. That’s not how art is made.

This is my eighth book. I’ve gone through this publication process countless times—I know the drill.

And yet, this time feels different.

It’s the first book I’ve published and promoted entirely on my own terms. I worked with an agency that helped bring it to life—but it’s my project. I am the sole creative director, I own it, and I keep all the receipts. I love to experiment.

A few days ago, however, I suddenly felt really on my own. There are pros and cons to every experience.

On the whole though—I feel free. This was my aim: to launch something completely independently for the first time. It’s been an amazing experience.

Thank you for reading my words and for supporting A Year of Nothing. It is available at all good bookshops!

I’m going to lie down now. And watch two episodes of The Traitors, and feel so grateful that I get to do this.