On accepting who we are

pressing pause on self-improvement for a sec

Last summer, I went for a swim at Brockwell Lido with a good friend. We put our bags down and sat on our towels for a while. It was a bright June day, and the sun was shining. We were chatting away and she asked me how I was. We spoke about work, and I shared my frustrations, feeling particularly self-critical.

I never seem to reflect properly on my projects—I’m always on to the next thing.
I change my mind a lot.
I need too much alone time to function…

She looked at me blankly, but smiling, and just said: “But maybe that’s just how you are?”

We’d worked together in the past, and she’d known me for years. She had seen me go through the same cycles again and again with my work and life. She had never really seen any of my traits as a problem, even on bad days. I breathed out for a moment.

“Maybe it’s okay that you’re like this?” she added. I stopped talking then, because a sense of relaxation took over my entire body.

Maybe, that’s just how you are.