The idea of the 'career nemesis'
to have, or not to have?
“How’s your nemesis doing?” a family member jokingly asked me the other day. I’ve been quite vocal over the years about someone who I constantly compare myself to. (My issue, not theirs.) I can offload to certain people in my family who are often intrigued slash baffled about the strange world of writing books and online.
“They’re currently in America,” I sigh. “On a sold-out book tour.”
Writer Roxane Gay has long written about the idea of a career nemesis. I don’t get the vibe that Roxane is being too serious when she talks about her nemesis. I take it as a light-hearted joke.
“My nemesis is having a good year professionally and has clear skin. It’s a lot to take.” — Roxane Gay, 2013
I don’t like the idea of actually having a nemesis who you wish ill on. No, nothing like that. I think having a nemesis can be quite healthy, even. It’s just someone in your peripheral vision who is doing really well at something you want to be doing. Someone you don’t know very well. Maybe they’re doing better than you and you’re miffed. But you can use it as inspiration, as proof that it’s possible. I think life would be boring without my nemesis. Having a nemesis is exciting. Gives you something to aim for.
At a creativity retreat I hosted at the weekend in Wales
, I invited a writer friend to be my special guest writer. Earlier in the year, Bec invited me to Shropshire to be the guest writer on her retreat at Arvon. We had a great time and there was so much warmth in the room. This time, it was lovely to turn the tables on her. The paperback of her book Written came out this year, a wonderful guide on writing.We sat in a cosy living room with the fire burning. The guests sat on a big velvet u-shaped sofa and Bec and I sat side-by-side on a purple loveseat. One of my questions for her was about comparison and inspiration, there’s a fine line sometimes, isn’t there? How do you stay motivated with your own work?
She decided to share something personal. I could see her brain whirring.
“I have a specific example,” She said.
She then described a time a few years ago when she was working on her book How To Have A Happy Hustle around the same time I was working on The Multi-Hyphen Method. She said she saw my announcement in The Bookseller and felt a stab of concern and potential jealousy.
“I immediately worried that someone was working on a similar book to mine. I saw your amazing book deal announcement and thought to myself, well then, why bother with mine?”
“Oh god,” I said, slightly taken aback.
“You could have been my nemesis,” She said to me, on the love seat. “But instead I emailed you to say congratulations.”
That’s exactly what happened. Bec sent me a kind email years ago, and from the way she wrote to me I knew immediately we’d be friends. Instead we became champions of each other’s work. A friendship formed and has continued to blossom ever since.
(And side note: as you’ll have read in my post about my current judging role for the Women’s Prize, we need more non-fiction books by women, not less.)
“How’s your nemesis doing now?” My family member asked me again the other day over coffee.
“Oh, she’s doing really well,” I said. “Better than ever, in fact. She’s just announced a new major project.”
I sipped my coffee, smiling. Knowing that as long as my nemesis was doing well, I’d always be excited about something, and long to follow in her footsteps.
After all, ‘Nemesis’ is just another word for ‘admiration’.
And, maybe one day, there’ll be an opportunity to invite her onto a purple loveseat somewhere.
In short:
1. have a light-hearted career nemesis,
2. befriend them,
3. take over the world.
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