'A Year of Nothing' is back on sale

for ONE week only my bestselling limited edition Pound Project book is back for Christmas 🎄

In nature, things are allowed to break down, regenerate and build back up again. But for humans, it feels trickier. Life is busy. You can’t really schedule in a breakdown. For years, I wrote about work, wellbeing and productivity. Then I was struck by chronic burnout and could barely get out of bed.

Of course, writing about my experience saved the day — as it always does. I turned my diaries into a little book: A Year of Nothing, independently published by The Pound Project.

The book isn’t traditionally published and so it was only available for a limited time only. Now, it’s back on sale for one week only from today. If you missed getting a copy last time, this is your last chance.

For a tiny independently published book which mainly consisted of me and The Pound Project founder JP Watson Whatsapping back and forth, we did something incredibly special together during the first campaign back in June.

We got incredible press (with the help from PR guru Jenna Good) including a longread on BBC Culture, a slot on BBC Woman’s Hour (where I shared a green room with Nelly Furtado), the front page of The Guardian on the topic of ‘life sabbaticals’, plus global review coverage in places like ELLE Italy and I even went on Australian TV. We shipped to 30+ countries and thousands of cities worldwide. If this was a ‘proper’ book, we would have probably made the Sunday Times Bestseller List (we sold 5,550 individual copies).

I share all this because it is an exciting example of doing your own thing! The publishing industry is a tricky beast, and as much as I love the people I work with, the giant system as a whole has beaten me down at times. Bringing my writing out there to the world in a new way filled me with joy and a new sense of motivation and drive. This was a reminder that I can be in the driver’s seat of distributing my own writing, if I want to be.

The campaign ends on 1st December at midnight. Publication day is 6th December, so you’ll get your book(s) in more than enough time for Christmas, should you want to buy a copy or two as a gift for someone else. I was going to use the word ‘stocking filler’, but sometimes I feel like that cheapens something a little bit. This book is something I’m super proud of. After all, I turned a really gnarly burnout year into a lovely little thing. Once I was better, that is.

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Here’s what Radio Times, ELLE and BBC Woman’s Hour had to say about it:

An updated Author’s Note from me, six months after initial publication:

illustrations by @georgiamaiaillustrations

When I tell people about my fallow year of nothingness, I find many people say: “I’m so sorry”. As much as that is a thoughtful response, I don’t think there’s much to be sorry about, at least from where I’m standing now. 

As Taffy Brodesser-Askner recently said, when discussing the famous screaming scheme performed excellently by Claire Danes in Fleishman is in Trouble:

“I'm a big fan of the nervous breakdown as a completely rational response.”

A nervous breakdown is a completely rational response! That landed in my body as truth. Life for many of us, and for very different personal reasons, is a lot right now. I’m no longer embarrassed about ‘being too sensitive’.

When I look back on this fallow year, I of course feel sadness of the time ‘lost’ but I also feel a deep fondness. It was a difficult, scary year to be bedridden, adrift and aimlessly wandering, but I can’t help but be grateful for it.

A friend of mine, who had her burnout breakdown two years before mine, told me that one day I would feel like it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time, I couldn’t believe that at all. And yet, I had witnessed her own miracle unfold. A glorious transformation.

I saw her in the park during her own Year of Nothing, make-up free wearing an oversized fleece, walking her dog, looking empty. I see her now, living her life in sunny European city and seeing how her burnout rerouted her in a beautiful, dramatic way. She recently posted something on Instagram that said “I’m the softest and more ruthless I’ve ever been.” That’s how I feel. So much softer, and yet, so much more powerful.

I have so much to thank my Year of Nothing for. It taught me how to rest, how to heal, how to prioritise my health and how to trust myself. It taught me how to live. Learning how to live through such darkness and confusion made me realise that if all my success and career went away tomorrow, I’d be okay, because I know how to do the basics of life. I know who my people are, the ones who make me feel safe. I survived a terrifying upside-down world and that means I can do hard things. It taught me resilience. How to properly stand up for myself.

For so long I had compartmentalised my life, being a slightly different version of myself depending on the person I was with or the environment I was in. When I came out the other side of this, I realised I’d combined all my different selves. For the first time, I felt whole. One person. Recognised myself in the mirror again. A relief.

My friend

Donna Lancaster

says: “I trust completely in life.” This was new to me: the idea of trusting life, trusting the path and trusting where it will take you. My burnout episode rerouted me in ways I cannot yet imagine. I do know that everything that happened was on my side. This ‘re-route’ has sent me in the most magical direction already.

This book A Year of Nothing is in many ways a love letter to my inner circle. My parents, my husband, my siblings, my best friends. It was this year of nothingness that brought me right back to everything that is most important to me. It also taught me to have impeccable boundaries. Chef’s kiss. That alone feels like a gift.

I hope you enjoy this book, I’m so glad I wrote it, because I couldn’t write it now that I’m better. This is why we write, to capture these chapters of life. Because often life feels like a butterfly constantly fluttering away, hard to grasp, impossible to pin down. Sometimes, though, it stays still enough to have a proper magical glimpse up close. And look how perfect it is. 🦋

Thanks, as always, for the support. This book will always be close to my heart, and got me through a really crappy time in my life. <3

each book comes with a set of postcards! pics from @sanjida.kay, @ashleyycramp, @suzies.bookhself, Claire Diaz-Ortiz

JP Watson & I, with the first prototype of the book!