Very interesting read. I do believe that Sally Rooney is doing the right thing by not sharing her private life, and I do totally respect the author's right to a private life. At the same time, I am a very curious (possibly a nosy) person. I love the personal stories behind the fiction people write. Probably especially as I don't write fiction and I am curious to understand how creative people turn ideas into art. I would love to poke a writer's brain about what inspired the story, how they came up with a certain quirk of a character, whether a dialogue in a book was inspired by sth that happened to them, or a conversation they overheard. Basically, I'd like to know more about the process of what can be a tiny inkling of an idea or material into the amazing fiction that I get to read. I want to understand how the magic trick works. On the other hand, I don't need to know the name of the author's children, if they hand wash their underwear or have food allergies.
I think the expectation of sharing the inner workings of your personal life isn't fair. I've never written a book, so I don't know about all the steps involved to increase sales, etc., but what a shame that writers'/artists' personal boundaries are pushed. I can imagine it's frustrating to have the focus taken away from what you created. Thanks for sharing this.
I also want to share though, as someone who is new to the personal essay scene, I enjoy reading candid thoughts and feelings about real-life experiences from other people. It also makes me happy when I publish something that feels scary to share in the moment, but resonates with many people. I think writing openly about the best (and worst) bits in life to whatever depth you're comfortable with is a great way to connect and feel less alone.
I’ve been very protective of what I share about my life on social media and with traditional media but it’s never easy! So a “hell yes” to more focus about the work and less talk about private life.
as usual, you write what I'm thinking. So tired of what "authenticity" culture has done to women. Our lives are so precious and the internet is so irreverent. It'll be a sad day when everyone is required to be an influencer
Thank you for writing this! I see a lot of authors on Instagram who share personal details of their lives alongside promotional content for their books. It seems as if the more personal you are, the more followers you gain which means more pre-orders/sales which rarely happens, since X followers doesn't mean Y sales. I've felt pressured to join TikTok before and during my courses in university, I've had professors push my classmates and I to create an author brand on social media and start posting early on about ourselves and our WIP (because apparently if you refuse to be personal then it would feel like you're selling). One professor told me that my bio on my website read dryly and lacked personality and wanted me to inject more personal details of my life.
Then there's indie authors who hide behind pseudonyms and hide their faces who are being harassed for refusing to divulge their ethnicity or sexuality (or refusing to share any personal information after fabricated stories were made about them), and it's created this rotten environment online where we're EXPECTED to give out personal details just to appease the mob and be like "look this is all lies! See, here's proof!" It really feels as if with social media, we are no longer privy to our own life.
Thank you for writing this. I found this super helpful to read and such an important and relevant topic. As a new writer this is a tension I’m grappling with and at times part of the fear around sharing work out in the world.
It’s so refreshing to hear about writers who have been able to hold boundaries around personal lives. Focusing on and connecting through the work, sharing in more conscious consenting ways, rather than being encouraged to spill all.
Very interesting read. I do believe that Sally Rooney is doing the right thing by not sharing her private life, and I do totally respect the author's right to a private life. At the same time, I am a very curious (possibly a nosy) person. I love the personal stories behind the fiction people write. Probably especially as I don't write fiction and I am curious to understand how creative people turn ideas into art. I would love to poke a writer's brain about what inspired the story, how they came up with a certain quirk of a character, whether a dialogue in a book was inspired by sth that happened to them, or a conversation they overheard. Basically, I'd like to know more about the process of what can be a tiny inkling of an idea or material into the amazing fiction that I get to read. I want to understand how the magic trick works. On the other hand, I don't need to know the name of the author's children, if they hand wash their underwear or have food allergies.
I think the expectation of sharing the inner workings of your personal life isn't fair. I've never written a book, so I don't know about all the steps involved to increase sales, etc., but what a shame that writers'/artists' personal boundaries are pushed. I can imagine it's frustrating to have the focus taken away from what you created. Thanks for sharing this.
I also want to share though, as someone who is new to the personal essay scene, I enjoy reading candid thoughts and feelings about real-life experiences from other people. It also makes me happy when I publish something that feels scary to share in the moment, but resonates with many people. I think writing openly about the best (and worst) bits in life to whatever depth you're comfortable with is a great way to connect and feel less alone.
I’ve been very protective of what I share about my life on social media and with traditional media but it’s never easy! So a “hell yes” to more focus about the work and less talk about private life.
I wish I had read this before my book came out last year. I would have made different choices. Thank you for this!
as usual, you write what I'm thinking. So tired of what "authenticity" culture has done to women. Our lives are so precious and the internet is so irreverent. It'll be a sad day when everyone is required to be an influencer
Thank you for writing this! I see a lot of authors on Instagram who share personal details of their lives alongside promotional content for their books. It seems as if the more personal you are, the more followers you gain which means more pre-orders/sales which rarely happens, since X followers doesn't mean Y sales. I've felt pressured to join TikTok before and during my courses in university, I've had professors push my classmates and I to create an author brand on social media and start posting early on about ourselves and our WIP (because apparently if you refuse to be personal then it would feel like you're selling). One professor told me that my bio on my website read dryly and lacked personality and wanted me to inject more personal details of my life.
Then there's indie authors who hide behind pseudonyms and hide their faces who are being harassed for refusing to divulge their ethnicity or sexuality (or refusing to share any personal information after fabricated stories were made about them), and it's created this rotten environment online where we're EXPECTED to give out personal details just to appease the mob and be like "look this is all lies! See, here's proof!" It really feels as if with social media, we are no longer privy to our own life.
Thank you for writing this. I found this super helpful to read and such an important and relevant topic. As a new writer this is a tension I’m grappling with and at times part of the fear around sharing work out in the world.
It’s so refreshing to hear about writers who have been able to hold boundaries around personal lives. Focusing on and connecting through the work, sharing in more conscious consenting ways, rather than being encouraged to spill all.